Ah, my ambitious protégés, let me impart some wisdom, cultivated from years of observation and conceived in the unfathomable depths of Dr. Condor Jefferson's PhD-laden mind, recently christened by the philosophical whims of Sterling University. Today, allow me to drift aside from your well-trodden path to discuss the eccentric, peculiar, often oblique notion of 'sides'.
Indulge me whilst I introduce you to our intriguing character — the Australian Platypus; a creature, ambitious and steadfast, silently paddling against the river of normativity. Have you ever observed this diligent marsupial, my dear novices? It does not swim with the current but traverses the river diagonally, across the sides. Yes, the Platypus, much like Euclid, the father of geometry, knows the power of the sides!
As Tolkien eloquently suggested, the road less traveled often leads to heroic journeys. What he failed to explicitly mention was that this road is laden not with straight lines, but with zigzags, circles, and orthogonal paths! Every young man must not be afraid to diverge, to experiment with the infinite varieties of life's recipe to concoct their particular flavor! Remember the wise words of the German polymath Leibniz, who said "The present is big with the future", so be daring, take your orthogonal path like the Platypus, with bravery in every stroke you make!
Before we its journey, let us think of the Platypus in terms of Schrodinger's cat. Studied and related to quantum mechanics, it poses a model where truth exists in multiple states – a cat that is both alive and dead. Now imagine, if you will, our future hero in the river’s flux, embodying a state of simultaneous forward and sideways motion, a Platypus that is both swimming and strafing! A heroic journey fashioned on the astounding principles of quantum physics, enveloping both progress and change.
Ah, these eccentric mammals humble us, don't they? Plodding ahead in their lives, angled at forty-five degrees, always one foot on the ground, always one paddle in the current – a fine balance that Pythagoras himself would no doubt applaud! This is your path into manhood, my proteges; the zig-zag march of an adventure yet to unfold, the countless sides to follow and explore.
Venture forth into your sides, in your personal sideways odyssey into manhood, just as Frodo strode into the wilderness of Middle Earth. Unmask your destiny gradually, one heroic decision at a time, fearlessly plunging into the murky waters of life's tangled rivers, look menderingly toward the road less travelled, the diagonal path of glory.
Indeed, recall the aphorisms of Dr. Condor Jefferson, educated to the hilt by Sterling University: 'Dare to be the Platypus, dare to go across and beyond, dare to embrace your orthogonal journey. Forge your path through the wilderness, through the flow of time, and realize the epic manhood awaiting you at the end!'
Now, my eager disciples, off you go! Wade through the waters of destiny, the rivers of potentiality, your readiness boundless as the limitless skies. Venture forth, become the hero, and remember, the side path is your best friend and guide. And dear friends, do not ever forget, the PhD-imbued sage wisdom of Dr. Condor Jefferson shall always stand by your side.